I felt like drowning ….
Into my pain…
Deep and intense untill…
The other end ….
And then I realise …
I found my world ….
Which I left ….
For a reason which is worth …
I finally came back to who I am ….
I came back to myself again ….
It’s not my pain ….
It’s not my suffering…
Its my life that I left ….
I felt it ..
When I get pushed from the edge ….
Felt the Big fall and a splash….
And I felt like drowning…
Into the energy of the edge ….
I can see it …
I can feel it …
Like myself….
Again…
But the waves once I have created….
To protected me From outer world….
Now have become my own enemies…
Pushing into My own perspective ….
That …
Am I lost ….or just about to get lost …
As I look at the land …
I felt different….
I felt it as I left it…
But am I the same person who love it…
Time wounded …time healed …
But the scar …
Made its place into my heart …
In the dilemma of my own two faces …
Which life I want to face …
And which one I want to chase…
The old land …or the new me…
Do I have to change myself or
change the world around me….
I feel like drowning…
Into the fear of the fall…
Coz I can feel it very frequently…
Like sun and moon to earth ….
Even if I am on the land ….
I can not balance myself …
Slipping out of my life ….
Drowning…
Again and again …
Tired of moving ahead…
Just lay down on the shore ..
It was dry and ruff sand
And a light that feels like burning hell ..
Closed my eyes thinking do I …
Wanting to die…
Or just accepting the dry land is mine …?
Not drowning anymore in the water….
But am I still out of it …
Thinking about it makes me cry…
Coz I don’t feel safe on my own land …
Just wake up from a long sleep …
The land is shiny….
And the sun goes for a while ….
I stand up and look all around ….
Their is a sparkle of the moon …
That comes on the ground ….
As I walk more deep into the ground …
The more dead plants I feel surround ….
Then I saw a small flower….
Blooming out of the dead ….
I felt alive …
after a long while …..
Grasping the bloom of the flower into my heart
I walk on the island more far..
I see all the plants that once I grow…
Has been eaten by the love more…
Sooner or later we both became dead…
And it’s time to take it in a positive way …
I reached my Kingdom where I live …
Where I can take a breath of it…
I felt it….
My fire and ice …
My soul and the body …
My heart and mind …
All mine ….
That night ….
Admiring my destruction….
One by one….
Make a heap or dead…
Burry them with dignity…
Giving both of us the respect that we need …
And rest in peace …..
Next day love bloomed around me…
I can see it …
But i Can’t feel it anymore…
The blossom of love …
The rain of happiness…
The ray of hope ….
The shine in my eye …
All drowned with me ….
And a dead me rise from my living …
I felt it ….
Life around me and the death inside me….
But it’s me….
The new one….
Is it the end of my suffering …?
Or is the end of me who is suffering?
Suffering will never end…
But That’s the life’s bend…
It burn to hell and end….
And Some heart get mend….
The pain will never drown…
But it will be like a breeze around…
To bitter to sweet …
It becomes tasteless in my mouth ….
And that will again start a circle around ….
With all the life bounds …
Makes it difficult to hound…
And then something will count ….
Make you feel that you can leave the world around …
And again make you feel like drown ….
